Foolish Games
by Domestic-Goddess
Summary: Slash songfic. Draco tells Harry how he felt before and after their relationship.


_You took your coat off and stood in the rain,  
You were always crazy like that  
I watched from my window,  
always felt I was outside looking in on you_

Looking longing out my window as I gazed at your sleek body flying against the strong wind was making my passion for you grow even stronger. How I wished I could race against you in the pitch black with only the stars dotted on the sky, glittering like diamonds above us.

But I was getting pathetically poetic again. I'm not _that _much of a pansy. I may have been in love with the second most gorgeous man in the world, but I still had my masculinity to uphold.

_You were always the mysterious one  
with dark eyes and careless hair,  
You were fashionably sensitive, but too cool to care_

If only I could have run my delicate fingers through your forest of thick wild hair, or gaze into the most enchanting emerald eyes I'd had ever come to know, would I ever be content. Though having you return my love would be the greatest gift I could ever receive, just looking at you doing the thing you loved most could fulfill me.

_Then you stood in my doorway, with nothing to say  
besides some comment on the weather_

You finally stopped for the night. You needed to go in anyways, it was much to late for you to be out. I know you are a rule breaker, but don't you get enough detentions form Snape without getting them from Filch?

I rested my forehead against the glass of the window seat. My heart seemed to sink in my chest as I watched you trudge from the pitch. All I had left for the night was gone, and now I could go to bed if I wished.

But I didn't. I wanted to watch you fly forever. I wanted to always jostle you and pull pranks. Anything to get closer to you, anything to make you feel again. Because truth be told, you were no fun then.

Every time I insult Mudblood or Weasel, they still yell, but you, you'd stay silent, sometimes muttering an emotionless threat. At one point I'd thought I'd break down and yell at you, kick you, cast nasty spells on you, anything to make you seem alive. I wanted my Harry back, not this shell of your former self.

I wanted so much, but the opening of the door distracted my thought.

_Damn_, was all I thought, scrambling to cover myself from filch or any other thing who could get me into trouble. I found a nasty wool blanket an pulled it over my entire body, hoping the stupid hiding place would get me away safe.

"Good thing I came in, it's raining," was what you said, and my heart started to pound so loud in my chest I was sure you could hear it.

_Well in case you failed to notice,_

_In case you failed to see,_

_This is my heart bleeding before you,_

_This is me down on my knees_

I pulled the blanket off me, glad to get it away, and heard you gasp.

"Surprised, Harry?" I asked, not sure where I was going. You stared at me, his eyes showing absolutely nothing.

"Harry? Since when do you call me that?" I saw my mistake and mentally kicked myself for it.

"I'll call you whatever I like, Potter," I spat, having a hard time getting it out. I hated that. I didn't want to yell at you. I felt my heart break every time I did.

"All right." All right? _All right? _Is that all you really had to say? I just wanted to strangle you, despite what I felt. I couldn't take it anymore. I hated seeing you like a zombie. I wanted _some_ emotion in you. So I did the only thing I could.

"I love you." Plain and simple. And it worked. I started at you eyes to whole time, and for a split second, I saw the look of confusion in them.

_These foolish games are tearing me apart_

_You thoughtless words are breaking my heart_

_You're breaking my heart_

"Okay." I just wanted to die there on the floor, and have a number of disgusting critters eat me. I was not cut out to deal with you at that moment. And so I punched you.

It was the only time I was ever glad you punched me back.

The fight was a blur, because I did it so blindly. I just remember collapsing on top of you, sobbing, while you rubbed my back. I felt like a small defenseless child, and I just wanted you to comfort me.

I lifted my fist up, and hit you softly, my energy had depleted and I could do no more.

"I hate you," I mumbled through choked tears, continuing to hit you, repeating it over and over until it became true. "I hate you."

"Shh," you hissed, as you held my hand in the air.

"Stop, Draco. Stop acting like this. And could you roll off? Your cutting off my circulation." I obliged, and when I was off, I sat up so I could look down upon you.

I must have really done something good, because you smiled, and everything broken in my body and mind were mended.

"Draco?" you asked in a whisper I could barely hear.

"Yes?"

"Do you really love me?" I couldn't believe you would ever ask such a question. Malfoy's never lie about something as important as love. But, I believed in that situation words would not needed to answer. And thus came our first kiss.

_You were always brilliant in the morning_

_Smoking your cigarettes, talking over coffee_

_You philosophies on art, Baroque moved you,_

_You loved Mozart and you'd speak of your loved ones_

_As I clumsily strummed my guitar_

_You'd teach me of honest things_

_Things that were daring, things that were clean_

_Things that knew what an honest dollar did mean_

_So I hid my soiled hands behind my back_

_Somewhere along the line I must've gone off track with you_

_Excuse me, think I've mistaken you for somebody else_

_Somebody who gave a damn,_

_Somebody more like myself_

And after all of that, after all that afterwards we had to go through, after all the fights, I thought our relationship was the strongest anyone ever had. We had lasted through the last year in Hogwarts, and one year in a flat.

But it wasn't. I mistook you for someone else. And that person was me. You weren't strong enough. But I was, and that's what should have kept us together, but it was what made us fall apart.

"Harry, please. Don't leave. I love you. Stay with me please," I begged, tears threatening to fall. You looked at me with eyes null of emotion. It was 7th year all over again. I wanted to make you show something just once more, but you wouldn't let me.

"I'm sorry Draco, I can't do this anymore. Goodbye."

You took your coat off and put it on the rack, as if a token of you could ever replace what I thought we had, and stood the rain, though you were really just making yourself open for a cold. A tear ran down my face as you waved and walked down the fuzzy street.

And there was the reason we couldn't stay together. You were always, always crazy like that.


End file.
